Charles Saatchi, the 70 year old art collector and co-founder of the famous Saatchi & Saatchi advertising agency, has opened the doors of his private life to tell the world he’s divorcing his wife of 10 years, Nigella Lawson.
Whether opening the doors into his private life was intentional or not, they were blown apart, after shocking pictures of him grasping his wife’s throat were splashed across the front-pages 4 weeks ago.
The pictures bring into focus the taboo subject of domestic abuse, illustrating the shocking truth, that even a ‘Domestic Goddess’ of Nigella’s stature, can be a victim. But what else does it say about the millions of men who bully their partners on a daily basis?
At the most extreme, one woman is killed through domestic abuse every three days. It accounts for nearly a quarter of all reported crime and one in four women will be a victim of domestic abuse at sometime in their lives.
This doesn’t even begin to touch upon the impact domestic abuse has on children and as a consequence, the future of an entire nation. The facts speak for themselves; a large section of men across the country would have looked at the Charles and Nigella picture and thought she deserved it.
Mike Fisher from the British Association of Anger Management has over 16 years experience in the field of personal and professional development with a focus on stress and anger and knows better than anyone the impact abuse has on people’s lives.
He says ‘We recognize that a very high percentage of both men women and children who came to us especially for anger management suffered from very high levels of stress. As Director and CEO of Stress Experts, Beating Anger & Anger Guru, he’s developed a one day and two day workshops, focusing on ‘Beating Stress’ born out of anger management programs honed over 26 years of experience.
He says ‘Stressexperts’ is designed for anyone who recognizes they are experiencing very high levels of stress which eventually turn into anger, frustration and fury.’
It’s not marriage guidance which Charles and Nigella need, its Mike Fisher.
Stress and anger affect all walks of life
Stress and anger is a part of our makeup. After all, isn’t it just the secretion of chemicals and hormones within the body that determine whether we fight or take flight?
Charles Saatchi was punished with a police caution. Whether police cautions are effective deterrents against domestic abuse is debatable, but you can be sure they won’t succeed in addressing the issues of why a man assaults a women in the first place.
It just goes to show, the rich and famous aren’t the only victims of domestic abuse, stress and anger. Saatchi says in his statement ‘I abhor violence of any kind against women and have never abused her physically in any way,’ dismissing the incident as nothing more than a ‘Playful tiff’.
He goes on to say how disappointed he was that Nigella failed to make a public statement backing up his non-violent credentials. Perhaps Nigella’s continuing silence, illustrates perfectly that this wasn’t the first time. That in fact, it’s the latest in a long line of assaults she’s endured, both in public and private. Though Saatchi reiterates ‘I must stress again my actions were not violent.’
Perhaps we shouldn’t throw stones in glass houses and give Charles Saatchi the benefit of the doubt. The stress and strain of life can push anyone to the limits of their anger. If looking at the picture made you think about your own relationship, help is at hand.
Mike Fisher from British Association of Anger Management is only a phone call away, and as a Guru on the subject he welcomes your call.