It’s that time of the year when we declare our undying love to our wives, husbands and partners, and if single, look at couples with envious eyes and go out full steam to find love for ourselves.
It’s that time of year we spend a small fortune on red roses, fancy chocolates and bottles of bubbly.
No expense spared for the people we love.
It’s the time of year we are all smiles and love is in our hearts, but it can also be the most stressful.
‘Everything must be perfect,’ is the trap we all fall into. Our loved ones must experience the best we can offer. The card must be perfect, the chocolates must be her favourite, her surprise gift of perfume must be her favourite, and the restaurant must be the best.
The stress is already building and it isn’t even Valentine’s Day.
We all have primary needs to replenish. We all need to feel loved, cared for, appreciated, valued, desired, respected, and honoured. We rely on our wives, husbands, partners and friends to massage our egos, to give us what we need to feel happy about ourselves and the lives we lead.
While Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to give love and soak it up, we may be less stressed if we learnt to massage our own egos and replenish our own needs, rather than rely on somebody else to do it for us.
Here are some simple tips to ensure you have a lovely Valentine’s Day, rather than a stressful one.
Reschedule for a different day.
Falling on a Thursday, Valentine’s Day isn’t always convenient to a busy work schedule. Don’t push yourself to the edge trying to find a free table at the most popular restaurant. You can always reschedule. Remember love is more about a 24-hour period, love is not just for Christmas, it’s for a lifetime. Putting it into perspective; Valentine’s Day to pretty much any other day of the week. It’s not like the day itself has any real significance, and rescheduling will likely save you money, time, and stress.
Try something new
Valentine’s Day can become routine. We do the same thing year after year. Buy a card, buy flowers, chocolates and a bottle of bubbly. Be extra nice and tell our loved ones how much we love them. Why not try something entirely new. A romantic night can be just as romantic when doing something new. It will create great new memories, and your love will inevitably grow with new experiences. As a couple you would have common interests. Consider events or ideas that are outside your usual routine and which you can do together. Take a class or join a local group? The world is your oyster and the pearl is your reward.
It doesn’t have to be perfect.
Perfection is often the unobtainable dream; so don’t beat yourself up trying to make everything perfect. It will never happen. The beautiful of humanity is our imperfections. They are what make us individual and unique. One imperfection can be strength to another. No doubt there are imperfections that your partner loves and would never want changed. Wash away the stress of making the day perfect by just letting it happen naturally. If you do find your stress levels rising, take a deep breath and think of the bigger picture. It’s just one day. You can express your love, whenever you want, not just on the 14th of February.
Watch a movie instead
While Valentine’s Day is all about the big gestures and extravagance, it doesn’t have to be. Remember it’s about you and your loved ones. It’s about being romantic and creating the space to express your love in your own indelible way. You don’t have to be slaves to the marketing campaigns. Just be slaves to your heart and see where it takes you. Perhaps a movie cuddled up to your loved one on the sofa, is just what you need. Sometimes the simpler things in life are the best.
While we are conditioned to think Valentine’s Day is all about lavishing your loved ones with valentine gifts, remember that one person you are meant to love above all else. Yourself. While touching on our primary needs, which I mentioned earlier, the only person who can really give you the love you need and deserve is yourself. So while you are getting the card, chocolates and bubbly, remember to treat yourself too. One for her, one for me, one for him, two for me.
Remember this Valentine’s Day is about you and your loved ones. It’s not about cards, it’s not about chocolates and it’s not about bottles of bubbly. It’s about celebrating your happiness of being in love. Don’t let the stress, which hovers over the day, spoil it.
Don’t let stress beat the love from Valentine’s Day.
For more information about stress and the consequences of stress, check out Mike Fisher and the British Association of Anger Management (BAAM). With 30 years experience, Mike Fisher is Europe’s leading anger management guru.
Check out the websites www.beatinganger.com, www.stressexperts.co.uk and www.angermanage.co.uk for a clearer picture of what BAAM can offer you. Alternatively you can give them a call on 0345 1300 286, they are open from Monday-Friday 9am-5pm and are waiting for your call.